The Fix by Natasha Sinel

Author:Natasha Sinel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sky Pony Press
Published: 2015-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I wanted to wear my orange and red tie-dyed tank top to meet Sebastian, but I couldn’t find it and I was going insane. I pulled everything from my drawer, and finally, there it was on the very bottom, hiding under a lime green shirt. It was the same lime green V-neck with lace trim I was wearing when I lost my virginity.

It was fall of sophomore year. A warm September night. Excitement was in the air. A new year. New beginnings. No more being a freshman, no more being lowest on the totem pole. I knew enough to know there was really no such thing as new beginnings, but I was still naive enough to hope I was wrong. I got dressed more carefully for the party that night. I chose the lime green top because I thought it looked girlie and sexy on me, and that’s the look I was going for. I was tired of all the making out, under the bra, hand down the pants. I wanted something real to happen. I almost didn’t care who it was with. My latest hookup had been Jason Capalongino, a junior. He played lacrosse but he was a bench warmer, so he wasn’t quite good enough to be in the jerk-off jock crowd. He had long hair that curled out of his lacrosse helmet at the bottom, so when I’d walk by the field on my way to the bus, I’d always recognize him. After the initial rush I’d gotten from knowing he wanted me, and after that first-kiss euphoria, the rest was just bad kissing and groping. But it was still always worth it for those first moments—the realization that the guy wanted me and the anticipation and moment of the first kiss. In that second, I felt completely pure and cherished and in control. That’s why I kept going back for more of the making out with Jason Capolongino, with Mike Danforth, with Grayson DePenta, with Austin Lee, and all the other guys. But I was ready to have sex. And since Jason was the last guy I’d kissed, he was as good a candidate as any.

When Rebecca and I got to the party that night, Jason was with another girl. I didn’t like Jason enough to really care that he was tongue wrestling with someone else, but I was pissed that my plans were ruined.

Rebecca and I partied hard that night. We did shots of Bacardi and played quarters with the guys from the band when they went on their break. When we finally realized we were a little more wasted than we’d planned, we stumbled out of the party, leaning on each other for support. She was carrying a bottle of beer.

“Hey, drinking in public is illegal, you know,” I had said.

“Underage drinking is illegal too,” she replied. “You don’t see me going all straight edge, do you?” Then she laughed and spit beer out all over the place, including on my lime green top.

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